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VIDEO: Dyn’s DNS Vs. Email Rap Battle

In 2043 when we look back at the history of Dyn, I have a feeling that this video will be one of the highlights. Actually, it might be one of the greatest highlights of any company ever.

When we put together our internal Email Delivery Awareness month last year to help educate employees on the industry and other opportunities, we kicked it off with an 8 Mile-style rap battle between a DNS engineer (Chris Baker) and an Email engineer (Gaf Fitch) to see who rules supreme here.

(Of course, we love both of them like our kids. DNS & Email, that is…not the engineers. Actually, scratch that. We love them too.)

We guarantee this will be the best rap battle produced by a technology company that you have ever seen. Guaranteed. We even have the lyrics to help you along during your second watch.

Lyrics

Hi Mouse/welcome Cat to the chase
I think I saw your banner ads posted on MySpace
Your product gets the crap through the cracks
Next thing you know, you’ll be pitching us a Betamax

Email, I remember when that was a thing
Back when Hulk Hogan was the King Of The Ring
See what I just did there? You get the joke?
Email is old like Cheech and Chong…up in smoke

You wanna talk email? This is the thing
Over DNS? We’re bringing the bling
Five little points of DNS hay?
We double that sh*t like every day

With no domain zones or lower QPS
Ain’t nobody know nothing about your DNS
Email’s established, vetted and known
From buddies to shorties to your grandmama’s home

We’re told you work hard, down to the last ounce
You can’t take our title/you’re as hard as a soft bounce
Four million on ecomm, two thousand Enterprise
DynECT Email customers are just DNS in disguise

We’re with Amazon, Nextflix, big ballers
You’re with Yahoo & Hotmail bleeding dollas
I apologize, don’t mean to knock you off kilter
Your business is basically a reverse spam filter

In DNS land, all you sell is the speed
No customization to individual need
In the space of an email, all needs are diverse
Unlike your tired, ratty and haggard old verse

We got papers and deals and coupons from Mom
We got delivered results and who’s clicking on
We got love in the air and folks trying their luck
With media from Cupid and a book you can…

Email…you’ve obviously Gaffed
DNS is in your critical path
Pleading princes pushing pr0n, pumps, and pills
Does little Timmy know this is how you pay the bills?

Next time when you want to reach me
Go ahead and try to remember the full IP
Not @ gmail/at least not for you
Its ten dot zero dot ten dot two

Enough of the swears and our disses between
Brass tacks getting down for what it all means
You’re wanting to sell and money to make
This little nugget is all you should take

Email grows as a business abounds
Customers reached and profit be found
DNS ain’t bad…we’re just the betters
C’mon, deal and pimp our e-letters


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Whois: Josh Nason

Josh Nason is an Email Reputation Manager for Dyn, the world leader in Internet performance solutions. After nearly four years with the Marketing team, Josh moved to email full-time in order to help Dyn’s clients achieve better inbox success through their Email Reputation Management service. Follow Josh on Twitter.